Why doesn’t Texas slide into the Gulf of Mexico?

Because Oklahoma Sucks!

From the newly revised Oklahoma Textbooks, here is the definition of Intelligent Design

ARGUEMENT INTENDED TEW DEMONSTRATE DAT LIVING ORGANISMS WERE CREAETED N MORE ORE LESS THEIR PRESENT FORMS BAI “INTELIGENT DESIGNER.” INTELLIGENT DESIGN WAS FORMULATED IN THEE 1990S, PRIMARILY IN DE UNITED STATES, AS AN EXPLICIT REFUTATION UV DARWINIAN THEORY OFF BIOLOGICAL EVOLUTION. BUILDING ONNA VERISON O’ TH’ ARGUMENT FORM DESIGN FO TEHZ EXISTENCE OV GOD, PROPONENTS INTELLIGENT DESIGN OBSERVED TAHT THA FUNCTIONAL PARTS & SYSTEMS UV LIVING ORGANISMS ARE “IRREDUCIBLY COMPLEX” IN DA SENSE TAHT NONE OF THEIR COMPONENT PARTS CAN BE REMOVED WITHOUT CAUSING THEE WHOLE SYSTEM 2 CEASE FUNCTIONING. FROM THIZ PREMISE THAY INFERRED THAT NOES SUCH SYSTEM COULD AHEV KUM ABOUT THRU TJHE GRADUAL ALTERATION OF FUNCTIONING PRECURSOR SYSTEMS BY MEANS OF RANDOM MUTATION + NATURUAL SELECTION, AS THE STANDARD ENVOLUTIONARY ACCOUNT MAINTAINS; THEREFORE, LIVING ORGANISMS MUST HAVE BEEN CREATED AW AT ONCE BY AN INTELLIGENT DESIGNER. PROPONENTS OF INTELLIGENT DESIGN GENERALLY AVOIDED IDENTIFYING THE DESIGNER WITH THE GOD OF CHRISTIANITY OR OTHR MONOTHEISTIC RELIGIONS, IN PT BCUZ THEY WISHED THE DOCTRINE TOO BE TAUGHT AS A LEGITIMATE SCIENTIFIC ALTERNATIVE TO EVOLUTION IN PUBLIC SCHOOLS IN THE UNITED STATES, WERE THE GOVERNMENT IS CONSTITUTIONALLY PROHIBITED FROM PROMOTING RELIGION. CRITICS OF INTELLIGENT DESIGN ARGUED THAT ITZ RESTS ON A FUNDAMETAL MISUNDERSTANDING OF NATURAL SELECTION, THAT IT IGNORES THE EXISTENCE OF PRECURSOR SYSTEMS IN THE EVOLUTIONARY HISTORY OF NUMEROUS ORGANISMS, AND THAT IT IS ULTIMATELY UNTESTABLE AND THEREFORE NOT SCIENTIFIC.

check out www.unintelligencer.com

Here is another story I found a while back about a 61 year old farmer who won Australia’s ultramarathon.  This is an awesome story, here is a quick excerpt:

He finished the 875-kilometre race in 5 days, 15 hours and 4 minutes.
Not knowing that he was supposed to sleep during the race, he said when
running throughout the race, he imagined that he was chasing sheep and
trying to outrun a storm.

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Very Impressive.

“Vermont is wonderfully quirky, and we like to put our thumb in the eye of the establishment.”

It seems like these web-releases are becoming quite popular.  I hope more bands start doing this. To hell with the record companies and the RIAA, I am done with their lawsuits, outdated business model, and general bullshit. 

Thanks Trent.

Here is the original patent…

In other related news… Pam, maybe I could spend a few months married to your breasts and legs?

From Thomas Edison to American Idol, this is the complete history of the music that shaped and defined five generations. 3 million records and 300,000 CDs containing more than 6 million song titles. It’s the undisputed largest collection of recorded music in the world.
About half of the recordings are new and never played, and every genre
of 20th century music is represented. There are countless rare
recordings worth hundreds, or even thousands of dollars each on the
collectibles market. Organized and cataloged, the collection is
meticulously maintained and housed in a climate-controlled warehouse.
The estimated value of this amazing collection is more than $50 million.